I’m always confused by the standards that a lot of people use to define a friend. It’s too casual in my mind. I bring this subject up because I’ve spoken to people who have had problems in regard to their friendships that challenges what friendship really is. One story that stands out in my mind is of an acquaintance of mine henceforth known as Pea. Pea entrusted some of her finances and investments to a friend whom she’s known for many years. She stated to me that she had no hesitations trusting her friend to take care of her investments. Fast forward to a few years after the initial agreement. Pea needs some of her money to take care of some personal matter. Her friends says no problem. This is then followed by . . . you guessed it, nothing! Pea calls again and there’s a lot of hemming and hawing with a liberal sprinkling of excuses. Months follow and no money has been had. What takes the cake is that this friend asks for a loan during one of these phone conversations for some unknown project he was working on. Finally, Pea makes the decision to issue an ultimatum to her friend. She tells him that he was to produce her money or he was going to face a lawyer or maybe the law. I can’t remember. It was a this point this friend states that he is “hurt and disappointed [paraphrase]” that their friendship amounted to something so insignificant as money. After listening to her recount the whole ordeal, I told her then that hiding behind the banner of friendship after taking advantage of her wasn’t very friendly.
I define a friend as someone whom you only call on when you’re in a dire situation. Otherwise, leave them alone. Don’t borrow money from them without fully intending to pay them back every cent. You should actually pay back a little more if you are able. This is my way of saying I appreciate their trust in me. It all boils down to how much you value that friendship. If friendship is a throwaway term to you, then I would wager you don’t have too many friends you can truly count on when the need arises.
I will admit that I’ve only heard Pea’s side of the story. But even in this case, I stand on my opinion on this matter.