When it comes to the newer apartment complexes that’ve recently sprung up like dandelions, all I can say is that they’re built cheap. Not inexpensive. Just plain cheap! “Inexpensive” gives you value for what you pay. “Cheap” just sucks ass. To top it off they will label these cheaply built paper thin shoe-boxes “luxury apartments.” Nothing says “we’re going to bend you over and give it to you hard” better than when someone trying to sell you something labels the product they’re selling as “luxury”. Of course, they have volleyball and tennis courts along with a gym, a sauna, and a swimming pool. I’ll admit these are nice amenities, but I don’t need these things when it comes to habitation. These are optional. They should not by default be mandatory. If I want these things, I’ll go out and sign up for them myself and not be forced to pay for them just because they were built with the apartments.
The part I hated the most was dealing with my neighbors. There was always the amorous couple above me who had their bedroom also situated above my bedroom. They would start their procreative activities at the oddest hour of my sleep period. I would lay in bed at 2 in the morning listening to the woman moan. Oddly, I never heard the guys. Probably due to the fact that men’s voices don’t carry through tissue-paper ceilings/floors like women’s do. Higher pitch and all. It didn’t last long, but it was long enough.
There will be the bros who can’t seem to live by themselves. It always involves roommates. College roommates are always attempting to one-up each other in all aspects of their lives: girlfriends, drinking, making bigger asses of themselves than they are individually. Of course, it’s the latter 2 listed items with which I have a problem. I don’t mind a good mind-numbing drinking binge. I’ve been there. I’ve paid for them in pain in my earlier years. What I do mind is the wake they leave behind. There are beer bottles left on lawns I’m tripping over when I’m going to my car to get to work. There’s the 1 a.m. howl from the third floor to the parking lot about where they’re suppose to meet up after they’ve finished their current alcohol supply. There’s the running up and down the stairs doing whatever it is they’re doing and keeping me awake.
Here’s list of advices to all of you who plan on moving into an aprtment.
- Make sure the walls and ceilings are made of at least 1 foot of solid concrete. Don’t worry about the floor. That’s the problem for the guy living below you. If you’re a decent person, you’ll tread lightly, and procreate softly.
- Call the cops from a payphone at even the slightest hint of some bros living near you to report underaged drinking. That should put a crimp on the bro problem. [note 1]
- Get earplugs.
Note 1: I don’t recommend you do this. Calling cops to file a false report can get your ass put in jail. Not a pleasant place to be. Notice I posted this under humorous category. Treat anytime I post anything under the humorous category like you would an action movie. Take it at face value as entertainment, but don’t take the recommendation seriously.